Funny story. I recently just so happened to bump into a well known fashion and lifestyle blogger here in London (because let’s face it, none of us can ever so much as step outside to buy a pint of milk and a newspaper without crossing several celebrities, bloggers, youtubers, and that one hit wonder guy from the 80’s along the way), and she was kind enough to allow me to pick her brain on how to become a ‘successful blogger’.
She was quite a character, and I can see why London loves her; eccentricity is the best acceptable social quirk of the city.
A few words of advice from an anonymous (for once) blogging queen…
1. ‘Darling, you must model and photograph you outfit every day – and never be seen in the same outfit twice.’
2. ‘If you’re serious about fashion, or photography, or writing, or all three, then darling, remain serious and professional at all times.’
3. ‘Remember, if you want your blog to be read worldwide, darling, keep the sarcasm to a minimum. It doesn’t translate well.’
4. Don’t complain, darling. Don’t bitch or rant or whine or talk about the negatives of the industry – any industry.
5. Set up a vlog. Everyone has a vlog, now days, darling.’
And this one quite literally sent my jaw dropping to the pavement…
6: ‘Darling, until you get noticed and people start sending you things, you absolutely have to be willing to spend at least five hundred pounds a month on new clothing.’
I feel like I ought to be running merrily into the hills, as if I have been granted the secret to eternal life… actually no, I think anyone who wants to live forever is a fool, so let’s say, as if I have been granted the secret to eternal youth. But… I’m not. Instead, I left feeling downright disappointed. I had sat with them hoping for inspiration and instead I came away with… rebellion. Rebellious inspiration, but rebellion all the same.
I really admire this person, and I read their blog pretty much daily, but this simply isn’t the direction that I want to move in, and I don’t want to be another person who thinks, ‘ok, this is what has to be done to succeed in this industry, these are the key criteria to be met.’ I don’t have £500 a month to spend on clothes that are only going to be worn once each, and I refuse to believe that most fashion bloggers do either. As for no ranting and whining… but I’m so much more eloquent when I have something to complain about! As I mentioned in The Hub, my positive expressions are generally limited to ‘wonderful, ‘beautiful’ and ‘lovely/love’… used repeatedly in a single sentence for added effect.
Maybe this decision has set me on the course of committing blogging suicide, and this will therefore never be read by the legions of followers that everyone who sets up a fashion/photography/any blog at all hopes to have, and I ought to listen to the oh-so-wise (not sarcasm for once – she actually was a very knowledgable cookie), blogger and keep my blog polished, serious, and expensive to maintain due to the conveyor belt wardrobe. But then again, I can’t help but think that that would just be so… dull. I’d prefer not to cut out my snarky comments, my sarcasm and my make-believe wardrobe because I can’t afford to frequently re-stock the real one. I don’t want to play make believe just so that people will like me, and my blog. After all, though life is all about daring to be different, there are well-read blogs out there that break at least a few of these ‘rules’… look at The Man Repeller as just one example.
Therefore, the sarcasm, bitching, whining and virtual pouting will remain, darling, (that’s not mockery, that is actually my pet name of choice), alongside the cheerier stuff.
P.S… I have not overruled the possibility that said blogger went out of her way to give me the worst advice ever for her own amusement (or perhaps I’m marking it as an option purely because that would be my response of choice..) Ooo, the conspiracy theories are suddenly running riot in my mind…